There are certain obvious non-traumatic things that make me cry like, for example, movies like The Notebook and The Help, songs like Eric Clapton’s Tears in Heaven and those commercials with the sad abused animals and the Sarah McLachlan song playing in the background. Let’s ignore those because those are just givens (unless you are a robot and have robot emotions).

The scene in Love Actually when Mark shows up at Juliet’s door with the sign “to me, you are perfect”.

This would be the quintessential moment that any guy would have me swept off my feet. Maybe even if he was obese and was incredibly boring, but not smelly because I have standards. Love Actually, overall, is one of those movies I pop into the DVD player whenever I want a pick me up and when it gets to this scene, I always start blubbering like a baby.

23 by Jimmy Eat World

The lyrics of this song make me a bit weepy, not full on cryfest (because I listen to this song a lot on my commute and there’s nothing more weird than a person crying on the subway or bus… trust me, I’ve been there. Shut up, I was reading My Sister’s Keeper and it made me really emotional).

The lyrics:

First, it makes me sad that I’m no longer 23. Old
Second, I can relate to these lyrics.
Third, it reminds me of when I used to listen to it non-stop while I was in university and then, alas, back to the first point, it makes me sad that I’m old.

These Tim Hortons commercials

I swear, whenever these commercials come on, I can start ugly-crying in two seconds flat.

Websites like Dear Photograph and Post Secret

Whenever I check these sites, I always see at least one photo or one postcard that I can really relate to or just really touches me in a way that makes me feel like we’re all connected and have similar life stories. Then a few moments later, I’ll be at my computer or iPad, crying and feverishly looking for a Kleenex.

One of the first Dear Photograph submissions that really made be particularly weepy was this one:

For Post Secret, every Sunday, I log onto the website to read over the secrets. Sometimes they made me laugh, sometimes they make me disgusted, sometimes they make me sad, sometimes they inspire me, and sometimes they hit a nerve and BOOM, cryfest. I used to save the postcards that used to be particularly poignant for me but I’ve since stopped.

One of the last postcards I saved, and meant something to me but not too personal as to air my own secrets on here, were these from 2007.

For the past year or so, I have had lofty fitness goals. In these lofty fitness goals, I liked to imagine myself as a fitness guru who was awesome at everything. Could I be a yogini (female equivalent of a yogi)? HELL YA! Could I zumba like nobody’s business? You betcha! Could I go to spinning class and not want to collapse and die at the end of it? For sure!

Sadly, none of this is really true but I still have these lofty fitness goals and in 2012, I am determined to keep at it.

Here is a list of all the things I’ve tried, with varying results:

Spinning

Spinning looks easy to me. I can ride a bike, I can ride a bike while standing up on said bike, why wouldn’t I be able to go spinning?

It was the most horrific, difficult experience of my life [hyperbole]. I was sweating buckets and my legs were turning to jelly. I appreciate the instructor who kept coming round to my bike to offer me helpful hints like “keep your back straight” and “go with the flow”, but I was pretty sure I was one more pedal away from having a heart attack.

At the end of the class, I could barely stand straight and the next day, I was unable to even get out of the bed or sit down. And this was supposed to be the BEGINNERS CLASS! I later learned that beginners class means nothing in terms of difficulty and that we are just free to exit the class early if unable to continue on. But you feel judged when you leave early, so I stuck around to the end, as I huffed and puffed and sweated an inhumane amount of bodily fluids (TMI?).

Would I do it again? A BIG RESOUNDING NO!! NEVER, EVER AGAIN! In fact, I told my friends if I even entertain the idea of giving it a second shot, I pre-emptively give permission for someone to slap me.

Pole Dancing

Also took a beginners class. Also thought I would be AH-MAZING at it because it looked pretty easy. And also, NEVER AGAIN! I thought it would be really fun because I used to like sliding down the pole on the playground and this is KINDA like sliding down a pole? Somewhat, maybe? So many problems with this attempt.

Where do I begin. First, I think with my body DNA, I am just not meant to pole dance. Pole dancing requires not just a lot of upper body strength – of which I have none – but also a certain body chemistry, that is, dry hands to allow one to grasp the pole securely. Sweaty hands = slippery hands and slippery hands mean possible pole dancing related injuries!

A good portion of the class was spent wiping down the pole with a spray and paper towels while the rest of the class attempted different tricks (is that the word? Tricks? Eh, just consulted with Wikipedia and yeah, tricks it is!). I got a lot of words of encouragement from the instructor and even had some help from fellow classmates, who were likely pitying me and my lack of ability to even spin around the pole. Even with a squirt of some stuff that is supposed to dry up your hands and make it powdery to grip the pole, I still kept sweating through my hands and sliding off it. Sometimes causing pole-burn on the insides of my wrists, while doing so.

So basically, I spent the entire class wiping down my pole and standing beside my pole. Still, at the end of the class, the instructor said me and my equally pole-dancing-failure friend did an EXCELLENT job for first-timers! Yes, acknowledgement of my try! (Only child syndrome?)

Would I do it again? NO!! Unless I suddenly manage to get rid of the sweat glands in my hands…. and buff up my upper body strength (possibly with the use of protein shakes).

Hip Hop Cardio

I am a big fan of Sweating to the Oldies a la Richard Simmons type cardio fitness. I can do that kind of exercise till the cows come home. I am just THAT GOOD at it. I also used to watch a decent amount of So You Think You Can Dance and America’s Best Dance Crew and always was amazed by the hip hop dance numbers. I thought, that looks like fun and I’d like to do something like that. So I went to a hip hop fitness class for fun and maybe, extra bonus, pick up some awesome new dance moves. However, as I should’ve guessed from attempts at playing Dance Dance Revolution, I have very, very poor hand/body eye coordination and I cannot follow dance steps for the life of me.

I tried my best to follow along to the moves and I just kept losing count, never really sure where to step to and basically looking like a turned over beetle trying to flip itself over (best analogy I could think of, sorry). I looked pathetic.

Would I do it again? Yes, I would. Albeit feeling and looking like an idiot, it was fun.

Yoga

So here’s some background: I am a bit addicted to those Groupon type sites and whenever I see what looks like a decent deal on something fitness related, I buy it. I’ve bought 3 short-term gym memberships from it, in fact. One year ago, I saw a deal for a 20 class pass for a yoga studio that was a ways away from where I live and work but I figured, I would definitely make the trek down there at least 20 times. Boy, was I wrong. During the cold months, January – March, I said “it’s too cold! I will go during spring”. When spring came along, I thought “I might as well wait until the summer when I get summer hours and go down to class early”. When summer came round, my new excuse was “I have better things to do to enjoy the beautiful weather than sweat in a yoga class”. Meanwhile, I had every intention to actually start yoga – I bought myself a cute yoga mat and a nice top from Lululemon. I was all ready to go! I just never actually go, per se. Right around end of November, right before my trip to New York City and a few weeks Thailand, I realized that this 20 class pass deal expired January 10th, 2012. I decided YES I WILL START GOING TO THE CLASS AFTER I GET BACK FROM NEW YORK CITY! But then I came back and was too busy getting everything together before my big trip.

Gist of the story is that of the 20 class pass, I ended up onwon attending one of those 20 classes and it was a class called Beginners Joga (basically yoga with more of a focus on strength).

For most of the class, I was able to keep up with everyone else — except sometimes, see above sweaty palms issue, during downward dog, my hands kept sliding out from underneath me. And the whole lacking upper body strength part made holding poses really difficult so I never stayed up as long as the more experienced people in the class. But my favourite was definitely “child’s pose”. I could stay in that forever!

Another thing I enjoyed about the class was the ending relaxation portion. The lights were all turned off, some ambient light from Christmas lights stringed up around the room, some aromatherapy scents sprayed into the air, and us all lying on our mats, thinking of positive thoughts and pushing out the negative thoughts. It was a nice, relaxing exercise. I almost wanted to fall asleep.

Would I do it again? Yes! I’m already on deck to go to more yoga classes this week. I even bought myself a new top from Lululemon just for this occasion (also, I like to shop)

Soon to come in this “I need to get in shape” series: Zumba, Bollywood and more kinds of yoga classes!

I’m planning to sign up for a full year gym membership in the weeks to come so I can track this progress. So yay! Hopefully, I don’t accidentally DJ Tanner myself at the gym (you know the infamous episode I’m talking about).

Saying you’re going to travel by yourself, I find, carries a lot of stigmatism. The general reaction from people finding out you’re going somewhere by yourself is generally pity and some form of the following questions: good lord, do you not have any friends? Is there something socially wrong with you to not be able to find travel partners? Are you that pathetic of a person to not be able to find ANYONE to go with you? Aren’t you scared something is going to happen to you going by yourself? Etc. In fact, my own mother had this reaction.

And that’s kind of a shame because from meeting other solo travelers on the tour, this is hardly the case for why we choose to go on our own.

You can’t always align your travel plans with your friends’ lives and their current life situation

To travel far away from home requires commitment. You need to commit not only a good chunk of money but also a good chunk of time. From my experiences of trying to coordinate trips with friends, more often than not, not everyone is in the same financial situation as you and has the vacation time readily available. Unfortunately, not everyone (myself included) is a lady/gentleman of leisure. If you want to do a spontaneous or last minute trip, like the one I went on, you can’t expect people to just drop a couple thousand and their other commitments to accompany you halfway across the world. Trips with people always requires extensive planning, often months and months in advance. And even with all the planning and waiting for the right time that works with everyone’s schedules, it may never actually happen.

Your friends are likely to also have different priorities than you. You may love to travel and value experiences over material items, but your friends might not. I know with the people I know, a lot of them rather use their money towards things like designer purses, their mortgage, fancy restaurants, clothes, and so on. They don’t necessarily value a vacation as a worthwhile way to use their hard-earned money. I get it, I used to be like that too.

Chances are, you and your travel buddies don’t all like the same things

If you’re going somewhere far from home, you’re spending a lot of money to get there. You also have a finite amount of time there, do you really want to spend it doing things you don’t really want to do? When you’re traveling with other people, compromise is the key to keep harmony. You accompany your friend to places you don’t care for and vice versa. Unfortunately, though, that means it’s precious time spent not doing activities you want to do. And you’re paying a hella lot of money to be there so that kind of sucks.

Less drama

If you are good enough friends to want to travel with someone, in all likelihood, you have meshing personalities. But that doesn’t mean that spending 24/7 in close quarters is going to be without its trials and tribulations. Especially if you’re a girl because, let’s be honest ladies, sometimes we can get catty. Certain annoying habits and quirks can become tenfold more irritating. Short fuses are lit and then there’s dramaaaazzzzzzzz. It happens, I’ve been there/done that. And then the trip is over and there’s sometimes residual awkwardness (or even the end of friendships, happened to me one time after a trip to Los Angeles for just 3 days!).

You can do your thing without feeling guilty

If you do a tour like I did and make new friends on that tour, you can hang out with them or not in your free time. You don’t really have any obligations to them or them to you. If your tour buddy wants to go shopping and you want to go lie on the beach, by all means, go for it. But if you are going with a friend, you could ditch them to do your own thing — it just makes you feel somewhat guilty, like you’re not being a good travel buddy and there might be upset feelings.

This is why, after a trip to NYC, I came up with the idea of “Together But Separate™”. It’s the concept of freely doing your own thing on a trip with other people — all without any feelings of guilt or anger. As I had learned, the sucky thing about solo traveling is that eating at restaurants by yourself can be weird (though I suppose one could bring a magazine, Sex and the City style) and it can be a lot more pricey not being able to split costs of things like taxis and hotels. THUS THE GENIUS IDEA WAS BORN! You can still do what you want but still have company (social perk) and save some money (financial perk). I haven’t yet been able to put my idea of “Together But Separate™” into motion because the last time I traveled with people, “Together But Together” was insisted but maybe one day…

Know yourself better

Not to sound corny or like I’m espousing deep life lessons on Oprah’s couch, but I think traveling solo allows one to know one’s self better. You are spending that time consistently with only yourself, without the worries of work, life, and so on, so you tend to be more cognizant of doing things for yourself and knowing why you’re doing these things. You might even have an epiphany of sorts while you’re alone with your thoughts. Maybe make some life decisions you were previously on the fence about. I think it’s overall a good exercise for self-improvement.

More open to meeting new people

As a shy, kind of introverted person normally, I tend to not make much effort to talk to new people when people I’m already familiar with are with me. It’s just really out of my comfort zone and it’s just easier to stick with the crowd that you are already comfortable with. However, when I’m traveling by myself, I’m more or less forced to get out of my comfort zone to talk to different people I meet in my travels. Otherwise, it would be a really lonely trip. As I kept repeating ad naseum on my trip, I’M EXPANDING MY HORIZONS! It takes a lot of effort to go over the formalities again and again but you also get to meet all sorts of interesting people you never would have met otherwise.

There are still drawbacks though. I found that, even with these newly formed friendships, you still kind of crave social interaction with people who know you well, have inside jokes with, can talk about random nothingness with, etc. I had moments where I had a witty comment but didn’t get to share it because I wasn’t sure it was appropriate for people I had literally just met. It’s like the dating phase of a relationship, you just don’t want to show your full-on craycray in that stage.

After this solo-ish (“ish” because I was on a tour but on my own on the tour) experience, would I do it again? Yes, in a tour setting, in a heartbeat. I am even now planning a second Contiki in the near future once the new vacation calendar kicks in. But by myself, completely on my own without a tour group or anyone I know at the location I’m visiting? Probably not. I have known people who have done this before and kudos to them, I admire their resolve and bravery to do that but I don’t think I have the guts to do it. I’m still a wuss at the end of the day.

Day Six: Free Day

Another free day to do whatever we wanted to do. What I wanted to do: be a beach bum and shop. And probably find wifi because since going to Koh Phi Phi, I hadn’t been able to get on wifi and I was having withdrawal symptoms.

While our hotel was right on the beach, there was also a constant barrage of boats docking there and I didn’t really want to be swimming only to be hit by a boat. Long Beach was down the way by the hotel so I made the trek to that beach, as it was a lot more secluded.

And it was! I could honestly stay there forever.

BTW these are my knees… my mom thought it was err, something else.

Then I went to grab food. Surprisingly, not pad thai again but chicken satay with my newly found Thailand obsession, a mango shake.

It was a beautiful view.

I walked around town, shopping and came across Doctor Fish. Little tiny fish that eat off your dead skin — 15 mins for 100 baht.

It felt a bit weird at first, but you get used to the nibbling after a few minutes.

We went to Hippies Bar for some open mic (brutal) and fire dancing show.

A bit disturbing to me, as a person from cold climates, is the amount of geckos that show up at night. They were all creepy-crawling around my door!

Also, observation about the island, everyone seems to have a Hello Kitty bike.

Day Seven: Off to Ao Nang, Krabi

Last few hours on Phi Phi, I mainly just leeched free wifi from a restaurant with another tour buddy, eating some mango sticky rice whilst doing so (and of course, my mango shake). After leeching off the wifi for a better part of the day, we went to the Thai massage place. I had a “face massage” which was kind of like a facial with the amount of goop they were putting on and off my face.

We then took another 1.5 hour ferry to Krabi. I listened to, on repeat, OneRepublic’s Good Life — not to sound lame, but it was the official soundtrack for this vacation and I liked to imagine a montage in my head of the sights I was observing with this song in the background. That way, when I want to re-live this trip and its awesome moments, just press play on the song. Nostalgia in a snap!

We sailed for awhile and then stopped. Turns out, for some unknown reason, they had boarded us into a boat that couldn’t dock at the port so OUT MILES AWAY FROM LAND, we had to get off the boat we were on and get onto a boat that came up beside us. A tiny plank was dropped and we, with our hand held luggage, had to leap across to the second boat.

Our hotel was nice and modern, much improvement from the previous Phi Phi island hotel.

That night, we went to the beach to light these hot air balloon lanterns (or “sky lanterns“) that filled up with hot air and would then lift up into the sky. One was supposed to make a wish as it was lifting off and I was more concerned with my fingers getting burned, so I made my wish hastily.

After dinner, we went to Chang Bar, which had this amusing flyer.

Day Eight: I rode an elephant, bitch!

‘Scuse the language but I was pretty damn excited, I got to ride an elephant! It was awesome! No amount of exclamation points can show how excited I was!

We went to Nosey Parker, which is an elephant reserve that brings in elephants that have had their tusks taken by evil poachers. They were beautiful creatures and very calm, no random elephant stompings.

An elephant taking a whiz RIGHT IN FRONT OF US!

Trekking through the forest.

On the elephant! I’m not gonna lie, during this whole exercise, I was holding on for dear life to the bars and profusely sweating through my palms. So much so that my camera, which I was also gripping, stopped functioning — likely due to all the sweat leaking through. I was scared of falling off! Needless to say, when the elephant wrangler (?) asked if I wanted to sit on its neck, I politely declined.

View from atop the elephant.

Afterwards, we got to feed the elephants!

Getting back, we had more free time. Went out for lunch with fellow travelers and had pad thai again (and again, say it with me, MANGO SHAKE!)

I went shopping with them for awhile and then I disbanded to go get myself a Thai massage, something I was looking forward to for awhile. The lady made parts of my body crack that I didn’t know could crack. It wasn’t too painful and felt good afterwards. 1 hour of a Thai massage for 200 baht (equivalent of about $6ish CAD).

I wandered around for awhile. Came across this pimpin’ tuk tuk.

Speaking of pimpin’, OUR HOTEL HAD A PRIVATE HOT TUB ON THE BALCONY! A fact I only discovered later when someone was mentioning it and I was outraged that I didn’t have a hot tub too (but I did).

A personal hot tub with a view!

Other observations:

A creepy leaf bug found by our hotel lobby.

And Ronald McDonald bows to people here.

Last meal that night was a pad thai with shrimp (there was a mix up with the orders, oh well, still good).

Day Ten: Goodbyes to new friends and goodbye to Thailand

Next morning, I had to depart earlier than most people in my group because my flight was earlier. At breakfast, I said my goodbyes and then boarded a personal transport to the airport with two other people and the nuttiest driver, ever! At first, he just kept freaking out about how there were now 3 of us and prior, it was supposed to be 2 of us to drive to the airport early. Someone also had to leave early so added to the numbers. He couldn’t wrap his head around this at all! After eventually sorting this number mix up, he was relatively calm and quiet… that didn’t last for long. Suddenly, maybe the Red Bull kicked in, but he got super energetic. Here’s some secret video I took of the hilariousness.

Then we left Thailand, the airport runway being right along the shore.

December 23 – 25th

I got back to Hong Kong and it was rather chilly. By “rather chilly”, I mean it was about 12 degrees Celsius and this is considered BALMY back in Canada but going from 30+ degree weather to that, I caught a cold. That, or I caught one of the circulating bugs that were infecting people on my tour.

The last few days in Hong Kong, my last few days on vacation, were terrible. I felt like death. My mom got so panicked about me getting a fever and not being able to board the plane the next day for my lovely 15+ hour flight back home, that she called my aunt and made her take me to the doctor on Christmas day to get checked up. Let me tell you about healthcare systems. In Phuket, someone on the tour had to get stitches and if memory serves me correctly, it was under $2000 baht so roughly under $64 CAD. In Hong Kong, it costs money to see the doctor, unlike in Canada, but you get all your prescription drugs right there at the doctor’s office and it’s included in the cost. My consultation and all these drugs cost just $260 HKD. That is roughly $34 CAD! Prescription fees alone would cost about $10 and you wouldn’t get that many drugs. I even got lozenges from the doc!

December 26th

Bright and early morning, I went to Hong Kong International Airport for the long flight back home. Unfortunately, it required a layover in Detroit and Homeland Security required us to go through the screening and take our checked baggage (which, may I add, cost me an extra $75 USD to check a second luggage in) out to then recheck back in to its final destination. Seriously, never again. Flying via Canada or direct next time. The savings weren’t worth it.

December 17th was our last day in Phuket. Last day of seeing ladyboys everywhere (though apparently I am oblivious to them and had to have them pointed out to me), seeing scantily-clad women dancing on poles outside, being bombarded by people trying to get me to a PING PONG SHOW or asking if I wanted a tuk tuk. We were going to a more low-key place, Koh Phi Phi island!

Day Four: Off to Koh Phi Phi Island!

We boarded a ferry to Koh Phi Phi island, an hour and half from Phuket. An hour and a half of sea sickness fun! By the time we got there, the sky was dark and cloudy and it looked like it was going to pour. And it did, as we were walking across the island to our hotel.

Our hotel, the Bayview Resort, was on the far end of the island and on a hill beside the beach. Did I mention that the island has no cars, motorbikes or tuk tuks and only way of getting around is by bike or foot?

I’m terribly out of shape so huffing it to my 4th level (the highest on the hill) room was enough exercise to last me a lifetime (when we left the room, we had to make sure we HAD EVERYTHING because there was NO TURNING BACK!) but I could still appreciate the magnificent views from my room.

There was an interesting door that opened up from the bathroom, right beside my bed. Also, note, the sewage system on the island isn’t as robust so toilet paper can’t be flushed down the toilet — the toilet paper had to be put in a trash bin beside the toilet. If you do a #2, gotta use the hose as well.

How the streets look like on Phi Phi island.

That night, we went to Banana Bar, which had really awesome treehouse type roof decks. I felt like I was in something between Fred Penner’s Place and the treehouse in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Lost World. Except with booze and such. However, when you’re carrying alcohol, it proves difficult to climb up ladders so maybe not the most practical.

Then we went to Slinky Beach Bar — a club, as you might’ve guessed, on the beach. Tons of people and since it was right on the beach, you could just people-watch as they did scandalous things not too far from the shore (and oftentimes, right on the shore).

There was a pole in the middle of the place and people kept climbing it. I thought that someone was bound to fall off of it.

Day Five: Speedboat, Snorkeling, Maya Beach, and Monkeys

I’m on a boat
I’m on a boat
Take a good hard look at the motherf**kin’ boat
- The Lonely Island, I’m On a Boat

Alas, though, boats and me = not good. But Dramamine is fantastic!

We went snorkeling with pretty fish and then went to Maya bay, where they filmed The Beach. IT IS BEAUTIFUL! Jam-packed with tourists though but absolutely beautiful.

It looked like a postcard.

Back to the boat and off we went to Bamboo Island for lunch. It was less crowded.

I found a dead jelly fish on the beach.

Last but not least on the itinerary was a stop at Monkey Island (which we saw earlier but had just driven by… sailed by?). There were tons of monkeys!

They were cute, but I also made sure to not get too close because I didn’t want to be the victim of a monkey mauling (I heard a monkey mauling did happen to someone while on my trip so it was a legit concern).

Here’s a video of the monkeys.

And for my/your amusement, a sign found by my hotel.

Continuation in Eat Shop Tan – Part III

So I begin 2012 with a post about my trip to Thailand in December 2011 – Thailand mainly, but with a few days bookending the trip in Hong Kong (mainly to shop, hence the Eat Shop Tan). This trip would last almost a month, leaving December 8th and getting back the evening of December 26th. A whole month away from work, a much needed break!

To say this was a trip I had planned meticulously for and thought a lot about would be a lie. It kind of came as a surprise. I was just frustrated with things in my life and wanted a change.

I went from:

I think I’m on the verge of booking a Contiki tour to Thailand for Dec (right after getting back from NYC). Or should I do Europe in summer?

— Bev (@niftytastic) October 3, 2011

To

Just waiting for my vacation request to be signed and then booking my first @ContikiCAN trip to Phuket, Thailand! I’m so excited!

— Bev (@niftytastic) October 4, 2011

Approval for vacation request for Dec 8-Jan 1. Check! Contiki tour to Thailand west islands booked. Check! Just need to book my flights!!

— Bev (@niftytastic) October 5, 2011

I recently had read Eat Pray Love and was inspired to do something similar, but less committal. I knew I wanted to go somewhere where I could relax in the sun in a bathing suit (it was getting dreary in my neck of the woods and all my recent vacations were walking around type of vacations) but also provided something more, in terms of a cultural experience, than a boring old resort vacation. I started looking through the Contiki website for ideas and between the Australia Beaches and Reefs and Thailand West Island Hopper tours, I ended up deciding on the West Island Hopper tour. Maybe if I can get more vacation time in the future, I will go on the Beaches and Reefs tour because it sounds like an awesome time. It’s just that the flight down there from here would be brutal and take up a good chunk of my already lacking vacation time.

I left home on December 8th with butterflies in my stomach and muchos anxiety (thanks to well-intentioned friends and family who had instilled fear in me and were making me rethink my first solo trip attempt) and after a long, long flight -with a layover in Detroit- I got to Hong Kong late at night December 9th. Jet-lagged!

December 9th – December 12th

I mostly ate and shopped over those first few days. I also visited Aberdeen (where I saw a stray dog wearing a shirt! I noticed a lot of dogs, stray or otherwise, wore outfits. My kind of people!) and Stanley.

Aberdeen – a little fishing town

Nearby Stanley Main Street at dusk

Stanley has beautiful homes and really interesting architecture. Places worth millions and that I can only dream of affording!

We went to Murray House for dinner, a German restaurant called King Ludwig Beerhall with beautiful views overlooking the water.

On December 13th, I flew to Phuket, Thailand a day early before my Contiki tour started. A 650 baht (700 baht with tip) taxi ride later, I got to my hotel, the Sawaddi Patong Resort in Patong. It was past midnight and I was tired so I pretty much just fell asleep right away.

Day One: Arrival in Phuket

The next day when I woke up, I decided to check out the area, visit the beach and look for a universal adapter. Let me just tell you, the walk down to the beach and past the shops was a feat in and of itself. I think I cheated death at least 10 times. The motorbikes whiz by at fast speeds and there are no stop signs or pedestrian lights. I stood at an intersection for almost 10 minutes before I could tag along with others crossing the road because I was too scared to cross the road by myself. Those who know me, know that I am really apprehensive about jaywalking and tend to skedaddle across the road like I’m in a game of Frogger (similar sound effects). Needless to say, after my twenty minute walk to Patong beach and back, I decided to spend the rest of my time at the relatively safe hotel pool.

Views from Patong Beach – where I was hounded by a dozen “beach entrepreneurs” selling everything from fruit to knick-knacks to use of beach chairs (100 baht, by the way for the latter. Equivalent of about $3 CAD).

Later that night, we met up with everyone in our tour and went out for dinner at a restaurant on the beach (yes, the same beach I had nervously walked to alone earlier in the day. When walking in a huge crowd, it’s less daunting). Hoover, our tour guide, introduced us to the new acronym T.I.T.S. – This is Thailand, Sucka! – the notion that you shouldn’t expect things to be like how they are at home. A theme that would play out throughout the rest of the trip.

This is where I ordered my first meal in Thailand: thick rice noodles with beef. It was alright tasting.

After dinner, we went to Bangla Road where there are tons of bars, clubs and random girls on poles in plain view.

Drinks are quite a bit cheaper than what I’m used to but my Sex on the Beach drink that I ordered at Aussie bar was blue for some reason.

Later, we went to a nightclub called Seduction where we were approached by this guy, a magician. He was good times!

Day Two: James Bond Island, Koh Panyee and some other islands I can’t remember

Hopped onto a speedboat bright and early!

Whizzed around some cliffs.

Drove by Monkey Island (which we would eventually revisit, later on in this post series)

We got to a little village, Koh Panyee, built on stilts and the only thing we saw (and apparently was the only thing interesting about the place) was a restaurant. We had lunch there and bought some things in the souvenir shop inside, as it helped support the local community so I didn’t feel so bad buying trinkets for people that would likely go into a dusty corner eventually.

Back to the speedboat and off we went to James Bond Island. To get to the “proper” part of the island, you had to trek through this mountain with makeshift, narrow steps with a billion other tourists. There were some reinforcements to keep you from tumbling down, but it was really just a hand rail and I had flip flops on. Luckily, I did not die.

The iconic shot at James Bond Island (with my iconic pose )

Now the same shot but with my fellow tour travelers/buddies

Back to the speedboat to be dropped off for some kayaking (except we had someone kayak for us. Which is a good thing too because with my upper body strength, we’d just be going around in circles in the same spot).

Our kayaker was a hoot. He kept asking us if we were on “HONEYMOON” and singing. Of course, he also provided me with a minor stroke when he brought this creepy thing onto the kayak and kept giving it to me by its tail, to make me hold it. I was freaking out and seriously, if he insisted on making me hold it, I might’ve jumped overboard.

On our “honeymoon” (which it appears, they do this leaf heart thing for pretty much everyone). Not feeling so special now…

Taken by another kayaker (with their own version of a heart carved inside a leaf… he insisted on the photoshoot because he almost knocked me across the head with his paddle)

It was a really serene, awesome, wonderful experience going through the caves and taking in the sights. There was a part where we had to flatten ourselves into the kayak and push through a small crevice in the rocks, that was something.

Getting ready to go in…

And squeezing through!

After the kayaking, we went back into the speedboat and headed to a tiny island – the name of which I cannot remember. BUT WHAT I DO REMEMBER WAS MONKEYS!!!

Some random dude had three adorable monkeys that he was obviously exploiting (100 baht per monkey for pictures) and I feel terrible for supporting such exploitation but good lord, it’s a freakin’ monkey. In pants! I spent almost all my money earlier in the day so I could only afford one monkey.

We then headed back to Patong and went for dinner at Jungceylon mall. Downstairs, they have a food court with many Thai food options and I had pad thai (one of my many pad thai meals on this trip). I think we went out that night but I can’t for the life of me remember what we did (as I didn’t take any photos). The rest of the group went to Muay Thai boxing but I did something else… maybe went to sleep early because I’m an old fart.

Day Three: Patong Beach, Ladyboys and “Ping Pong”

This was one of our free days, where we could do whatever we wanted. After a late breakfast by the hotel pool, we headed over to Patong beach where I worked on mah tannnnnn! By tan, I mean my redness because by this time, I was as red/burnt as a lobster. Nonetheless, I knew I couldn’t come back home pasty pale or I’d never live that down.

This was also the day I finally got to take a tuk tuk for the first time! Wheeee! It wasn’t one of those cool, ballin’ tuk tuks with the blaring dance music and the neon lights, but it was still exciting for me after hearing about tuk tuks from other people who’ve been to Thailand.

Fantastic, I don’t have 500 chins in this photo!

That night, we went to two activities you can only do in Thailand: see a ladyboy show and a “ping pong show”. Not to sound like a creep, but these were two things I was really looking forward to after hearing a friend’s stories of her trip to Thailand, where I found out a “ping pong show” wasn’t actually two people hitting a ping pong ball back and forth. Oh no.

Let’s start with the ladyboy show at Simon Cabaret. I don’t actually have pictures from the show because they had very ominous warnings about photography in the auditorium but let me just say the show was super campy and enjoyable. They did Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance and Aqua’s Barbie Girl (amongst numerous other ethnic songs that I didn’t know). I had seats up in the balcony so it was harder for me to analyze the “situation” as to whether and how much they were “passing” but they seemed pretty decently passing. It was such enthusiastic lip-syncing, more enthusiastic lip-syncing than the Britney Spears concert I went to.

After the show, people were invited to take photos with the ladyboys. Of course, that was not without a fee – 100 baht per person fee. I could only afford one ladyboy and the one I wanted, she had to get someone else to accept my money (or something) and then I was suddenly dragged off by another ladyboy. You can’t just politely decline a ladyboy to go to another, it just seems rude. So I just went with her instead.

They sure are aggressive about getting the photo ops in! They will literally grab you if you look even slightly interested in a photo.

And then we went to the “ping pong show”.

You’ll notice I keep putting it around quotations and I’m not doing that for no reason. There are no ping pongs — well, there might have been later on or earlier in the show, I only stayed around for 15 minutes. There are budgies, goldfish, various liquids in Coke bottles, bananas, pins, frogs, amongst other things. But no ping pongs nor paddles!

If you want more details, just Google that up. I’ll just say that I didn’t know one’s vajayjay was so versatile and provided so many career opportunities! While I watched these women with shock, amazement and a little bit of vomit in my mouth, I also couldn’t help but feel pity for them. I can’t imagine they are too happy with their lives but then, it could just be me projecting. The sociology major in me wants to critically analyze/deconstruct this whole cycle and blames myself for financially supporting this industry, but then I remember the milky water liquid that came out… and then I lose my train of thought.

But I still feel really bad for them.

Continuation in Eat Shop Tan – Part II

Are you a fan of Gwen Stefani’s Harajuku Lovers line? Particularly the fragrances? Or are you just a big fan of Gwen and/or No Doubt in general?

Awesomeness.net is teaming up with Matchstick Marketing to give away a Harajuku Lovers Fragrance prize package to one lucky visitor!

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Below are the descriptions of the 5 different fragrances. Each bottle is designed to represent Gwen’s four real-life Harajuku Girls and the fifth one, G, the leader, is (you guessed it) Gwen.

G
The Leader of the Pack
Never one to get lost in the crowd, G leads her crew in a white, corseted top and blue miniskirt—a modern day Alice in Wonderland. Quirky, unique, and undeniably cool, G leaves a mark with delicious notes of fresh coconut, jasmine, and cotton woods.

Love
Sweet Stuff
Caring and free-spirited, Love is always off in her own little world. Stepping out in a striped mini-dress and street-chic red kicks, Love wears her heart on her sleeve. Her scent is an unforgettable bouquet of pink pomelo, rose, and creamy vanilla orchid.

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Sassy, Sexy, Cool
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Music
Tough Cookie
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Baby
Girlie and Sweet
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Example text: Win a Harajuku Lovers Fragrance prize pack! http://bit.ly/4xWbFv Enter by Sept 20

Here’s how it works:

I figured, it’s been a year and a bit and I should probably write an update about that situation. Otherwise, people stumbling upon this site may come across those links and assume I’m still looking for a job. Which, I suppose, wouldn’t be a complete surprise considering the economic climate nowadays.

So after I wrote Job Hunting Woes Part II in August 2007, it would be a few months after that that I actually got my first job. My new tactic was to think about my strongest assets and my interests/passions and go full-force on attaining a job around that. Hmm, I liked writing. I liked anything related to the web, from social media to web development and pretty much everything in-between. I also thought, advertising seems cool too and I like anything related to the media industry. From that, I started looking up a list of all the advertising agencies in Toronto and looking for any position in the Interactive field. It took awhile, and by awhile, I mean I went to at least 3 job interviews at some big name agencies. Even one for a position I knew absolutely nothing about (something related to broadcast trafficking, if I recall correctly).

Then in November 2007, I finally landed a job at a decent sized ad agency as an Interactive Project Coordinator. I learned a great deal from my colleagues and the experience was definitely beneficial for my career goals. I got a chance to put my knowledge of social media and blogging to use, being able to strategize and brainstorm ideas on ways to create a two-way conversation and enhance interactivity with the online audience. I even got a chance to copy edit, even though I am by no means qualified to be a copywriter, and was actually praised by a Creative Director for some writing I did and had showcased on my résumé website. It made me feel good. It made me actually forget all those months of feeling like my skills just weren’t adequate as I was constantly being turned down for jobs I felt qualified for. The only “tiff” was that I was bright-eyed and naive about some things, certainly about playing office politics, which is never good — especially in this industry. And if there’s one important thing I’ve learned is that knowing how to play office politics is about as important as being a stellar employee.

I was there almost a year and then shit hit the fan. Let me just tell you: if you are ever led into a meeting room and you see an HR person in that room, get ready to put on your brave face. It’s not going to be good news.

Long story short, I was let go. (Strangely enough, my initial reaction to everything happening was to say C’est La Vie, which then caused that B*Witched song to start playing in my head.) Apparently, or as was told to me, they needed to hire an experienced project manager (and I was a mere coordinator with experience equating to the total amount of time I had been working there) for some large projects coming down the line and they needed to merge salaries of sorts. However, I did not know the latter of the reason until later on, when I had to get references for my new job, but I can tell you that at the time, I was racked with the thought that it was because they thought I was incompetent, plain and simple. And that notion really depressed me because I had always tried to do my best with any challenge I’ve been presented so to have all this happen, it was a punch to the ego. Rick McGinnis’ (a former writer for the free daily Toronto newspaper, Metro, who was recently laid off) blog posts about losing his job — particularly Laid Off and Fear — does a good job of summing up what I had felt at the time. Except, this being my first “real” job, throw in an existentialist crisis of sorts that questioned everything I had thought of myself as a employee and that’s basically how it felt for me.

Luckily for me, though, I guess, I never really considered staying at that particular job long-term as I had made the mistake of accepting the first salary offer given to me, which was just above poverty level. Needless to say, had I stayed around, even if I received a 10% raise, which is a significant raise, I would still be hovering over that same figure. After going through the stages of grieving, and I can’t lie, I was stuck on anger for a good amount of time, I finally reached acceptance. And with that, I saw this as a great opportunity. Sure, it was embarrassing having to say I was currently unemployed and I only shared this information with a select few, I just knew that being depressed about the situation wouldn’t help. So I started the job hunt yet again… while giving me a chance to get reacquainted with my BFF Oprah again.

This time around, because I had some related experience, the job hunting process was a lot more successful. I received numerous calls for interviews for jobs actually related to my field (Interactive). Things didn’t seem so bleak anymore.

Soon after, I landed a new job at Canada’s largest media conglomerate. I make a lot better pay and things are good, albeit the company has been in the news lately about financial issues that have been accentuated by the economic downturn. Regardless, losing a job is something a lot of people are going to have to experience in their lifetime and now that I’ve gone through it, I can’t say it was a GREAT experience (obviously) but I suppose it’s a good way of giving you a helpful kick in the butt, letting you reassess your career ambitions/employment situation. Or maybe I’m just trying to look for some feel-good lesson about a bad situation. Whatever.

Well, this is the culmination of all those rants about job hunting and you shall take from it what you wish.

Cartoon courtesy of Toothpaste for Dinner
First image courtesy of Nichole

I shall quote for you the summary from the book version of The Secret:

• It’s the Law of Attraction. Like attracts like — so when you think a thought, you are also attracting like thoughts to you.
• Thoughts have a frequency. When you think thoughts, they are sent out to the universe and they magnetically attract all like things that are on the same frequency.
• Everything sent out, returns to the source – YOU.
• If you want to change anything in your life, you need to change the frequency by changing your thoughts.
• Your current thoughts are creating your future life.
• What you think about the most or focus on the most will appear as your life.
• Your thoughts become things.

- Rhonda Byrne, The Secret

For some time now, I’ve been curious about this much touted Law of Attraction, which is really what The Secret is all about but without the marketable “zing factor” to it. I first heard about it from an Oprah episode where she was raving on about how great this was, how it was revolutionary and so on. I’m all about The Oprah and everything, but I had my reservations about all this hoopla over what appeared to be nothing more than a brilliant marketing ploy. I was just never really convinced about just how useful all this was and if there was even any direct correlation between one’s positive thoughts about attaining so and so goals and the actual act of attaining said goals. The most ridiculous assumption of all was the idea that The Secret can and will work in every aspect of your life: not just your career goals and personal relationships, but also can be used for “wealth enhancement”, weight loss and even as a cure for severe illness (see Wikipedia article for all other criticisms). You can’t help but be sceptical about something like this.

However, now that I am actually reading the book, while I am not ready to completely believe in all of this, I am willing to give it a shot. Reason being, there may be some truth, if not in the visualizing/thinking positive thoughts = positive things manifesting in your life, but in the opposite effect. Not too long ago, I was constantly bombarded with negative thoughts and as the Secret folks would say, these negative thoughts attracted negative things. And it did. If there is even an ounce of legitimacy to all this Law of Attraction hoopla, then I have nothing to lose (and maybe something to gain). I realize, perhaps unlike some followers of principle, that it is not the be-all, solve-all solution to making my life everything I could ever hope for it to be. What this principle sorely lacks is the importance of volition and the virtue of hard work and perseverance. But assuming I throw in positive thinking to the mix, I am willing to try out the principle behind The Secret/Law of Attraction for three months and I’ll use this blog to document the experiment.

This whole “your thoughts become things” notion reminds me of positive affirmations — except The Secret attempts to bring these affirmations into every aspect of your life and claims that the affirmations can eventually lead to actual things. And… positive affirmations don’t seem as hokey and preposterous as some of the claims about The Secret. I mean, it’s a bit out there, but it’s not sheer lunacy, right?

So alrighty then. From this day forward, I’m going to take a few moments in my day to affirm positive things about myself, think about positive things I want to happen/manifest in reality, and while I’m at it, think non-stop about ridiculous amounts of wealth. Take that Bill Gates, you have nothing on me. I HAVE POSITIVE THOUGHTS!!

photo credit: Reenie-Just Reenie

Act I came out July 15, 2008.
Act II came out July 17, 2008.
Act II comes out July 19, 2008.
All acts will stay up free for viewing until midnight Sunday July 20th. After that, it will VANISH off the website but will be released on DVD at a later date (along with some extras).

Seriously, go and watch it, go now. Or buy the episodes on iTunes.

He has a PhD in Horribleness!

Related article and more photos

Teaser

Addendum: I happened to have stumbled upon a Dr. Horrible fansite, when I came across Felicia Day’s website and blog. After skimming through the content and her blog entries, I’ve come to the conclusion that she is kind of awesome… in that, she likes the same things I do and therefore, in my mind, that makes her awesome as well. According to her blog, she is a writer in addition to being an actress, she enjoys video games (including Nintendo DS, which I am a huge nerd for), she is a fan of web 2.0, and she likes to blog and review things in her blog.

Truth be told, I wasn’t really a huge fan of hers, per se, when she played one of the Potential Slayers on Buffy (although I do recall she was one of the least annoying girls of the group). But that’s probably because I thought the Potential Slayers sucked up too much screentime from my beloved Scooby Gang in season 7, the very last season of the series. Since then, I hadn’t followed her career, which is a shame because The Guild (a web series she created) is actually pretty entertaining. Now, I am a fan. I think I’ll even go rewatch my season 7 Buffy DVDs just to refresh my memory of her role on Buffy. This time, I won’t be fast-forwarding so much of the “Potential Slayer scenes”.